Ok. Here is the next Picture Caption Contest.

Rules: Maximum 3 entries per person, and they must all be in the same post! Create a caption for the picture below. You should specify who is making the statement.

Prize: 1 month of free Chess Mentor

Judgement Criteria: How hard it makes me laugh. :)

Final Submission Date: I will declare a winner on August 15th.

1.

Player:  Just one more move, and then I really must get something to eat... 

2.

Player:  Wow, this guy is good.  It's as if he can see inside my head!

 

3.

Player:  Look, my skin's been torn off, my skull cracked open, my clothes stolen, we're outside, I'm cold, this seat would be uncomfortable even in the best of circumstances, I don't even want to think what this table has been used for in the past, and to cap it all, i'm a piece down.  The board goes on MY side of the table, and that's final!

So eager was he to test out the new King's Gambit skills he'd learned from his coach ih8sens, Rael forgot to put on his epidermis the morning of the tournament.

Erik to cheater_1: Your skeleton is showing

Cheater_1: pROVE It

 

Narrator: So by the skin of his teeth (since it was lacking everywhere else), our player was able to eke out a win.

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Player: Dang...they were right about those skin cancer warnings...I knew I should have played indoors.

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 Narrator: Unfortunately, when asked if he wanted to "play", Joey mistaken heard the word "flay"...

That's too risque erik

Zhane wrote:

That's too risque erik

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 lol

1. Putting the argument finally to rest, here we see indisputable proof that chess is indeed a sport! This display shows all of the muscles a  player actually uses while playing a strenuous game of chess. Just look at the flexion in the triceps...

2. Some players will do anything to gain a psychological advantage...

3. Ever have one of those dreams where you're naked while in public? Well, let me tell you about this dream I had...

Chess for Dummies.

 Chess master graduates from medical school.

Operation Jaque successfully rescues another hostage from the Columbian jungle.

Player: I got completely ripped off! These aren't ivory pieces! This is plastic!

Ok, you won the shirt off my back and now you've got the skin off my back aswell !!

 

"give me some skin"

 

 

 Player: <Sigh>  "Ok, this time let's just play for bragging rights..."

Chess instructor: "And this next slide in my presentation on the history of chess illustrates why chess clocks were invented in the 19th century." 

______________________________

BBC World News [July 16] -- “Archaeologists today announced discovery of hundreds of mummified chess players entombed in West Kennet Long Barrow sixteen levels below any burial chamber previously excavated at this Neolithic site in Wiltshire.  Almost all the ancient players were found in a state much like the specimen you see pictured here, along with an astonishing number of splendidly well-preserved chess artifacts. This is first conclusive evidence that Neolithic chess tournaments culminated in ritual mass burials of rich symbolic significance for man in ancient Britain. Neolithic chess ritual immurements apparently served very much the same cultural purpose as the chess tournaments with which our island’s modern inhabitants are more familiar.”

 

1.  The MIT students are almost ready with their latest money making scheme.  The software is complete.  All systems are go.  The skin will arrive in a few days.  This is gonna be way better than winning at the blackjack table!

2.  Well, I’m exposed here; but with enough nerve I might just muscle my way through this position. 

3.  Dang, this seat is cold!

After losing the shirt off his back, Jim declared 'double or nothing'!

Bobby Fischer announces his return to chess.

(to early for Bobby Fischer jokes?)

Just a pound of flesh?

1. Player: ".... you should have seen the other guy! talk about a rough chess club... I was just lucky enough to get out in one piece!"

 

2. Female player (size 14): "That's the last time I play that Jame Gumb!"

 

3.  Club Chairman: "Mr. Secretary, take a note to Cannibal Chess Club....It is with great regret that we find ourselves unable to find enough members available to play the return fixture this weekend..."

Hold the tournament at Chernobyl, hold the tournament at Chernobyl, hope this isn't a round robin.

2. I told you, using the test tube from the Bio-hazard storage to replace the Bishop was a bad idea.

3. Mom, I said I would eat AFTER I figure out Webgog's post in Vote chess.

1. "I play to the bare kings"

2. Mum : "dinner is served !"- player : "one last game and I'm coming, mum !"

3. They say you can play a life long of chess, and only scratch the surface of the game...